You know what's funny? When I think about my kids I've realised that the way they entered this world has determined their characters a wee bit. Perhaps.
Ollie was late, by 16 days. They had to practically stick a pack of c4 up there to get him out, and even then he had to be airlifted out the sunroof in a hurry. Thing is with olls is he's stubborn and strong willed, as many kids are I suppose. He just decided he liked it there so he stayed. Now? Now he nags you for something, he knows what he wants and he won't let it drop. He can be quiet, observant. I think he knows things but he doesn't let on that he knows things. He's impatient, bossy, all the things the oldest child should be. I like to think it will make him a great leader one day, that all that stubbornness is actually determination in child form. He's so good with his sister, he's helpful (when he wants to be) and he's lovely. Really lovely. He's my oldest, my firstborn, my beginning of a journey into motherhood, which has seen me really fit into the niche I was designed for. I really love him, he's amazing. I just want you to know that.
Now Ben. Ben is...in a completely different world. He's a character to say the least. There's not a day goes by when I don't roll my eyes to heaven and wonder where he's wandering off to now. After having an emergency c section on Ollie I was determined to have a normal birth on my second. Was all set until they discovered he was breech. Happy days. Another one to be ripped mercilessly from my insides. I tell him often about how he used to sit like a meer cat inside my tummy, peering around. He always had to be different, all the other kids were in the correct downward position. He loves hearing about it, always laughs his head off. Ben is a meanderer. He strolls through life and enjoys the journey. Surely one can't complain about that? Except he takes his sweet time about it (along with the hobgoblins and aliens which reside in his head) and sometimes it gets him into trouble. But he's just so funny and random, and quirky. Yes, definitely quirky. If you're going to see me hide my head in my hands at any of my children, it will absolutely be Ben. He's my second, the middle boy, the one who had to fit into a schedule undetermined by him. And I really love him. I just want you to know that.
Now Jasper is the birth I enjoy thinking about the most. Imagine the scene. 38 weeks pregnant, a c section booked (for 2 weeks time), I go out for a meal to TGI Fridays with some 'mum and toddler' friends I'm close with. I stand, for a wee, and feel a glug. (Sorry). Pause. Rush to the toilet. More glugs. (Really sorry). Panic. Friend pops in to see if I'm ok (she's had 5, she must know what's happening, this has never happened to me before...2 sections, remember?). Ring the hubby. He tells me to stop kidding around, couldn't be a worse time for us to have a baby. I leave in a mad frenzy (drama queen that I am had to announce it to the whole table, resulting in squeals, frantic texts to absent mums, mouths agape), and with a close friend....who is also heavily pregnant!!! (Also, a missed opportunity...why didn't I think to tell the staff, could've had free meals for a year...). Anyway, this little boy of mine, my youngest boy, my poppet, is always the first one awake in the house. He hates going to bed early and missing anything, he loves to be in the middle of the action. He's popular, crazy, and also quite stubborn. I think he decided he'd had enough of missing out on the action; he could hear his brothers having all the fun, why shouldn't he come out early to meet them? So c section number 3. He's hard working, sociable and is still young enough to give really great cuddles. I really love him. I just want you to know that.
Finally the girly. She's not so easy to read, she's still young, not even 2. Her birth was relatively straight forward, (c section number 4), though I had a slightly more difficult pregnancy. One thing I know though, she's been born into a fantastic family...she has 3 older brothers for goodness sake. When I was pregnant the first time I was desperate for the baby to be a boy. For many reasons, but one was so that if I ever had a girl, she would have an older brother. (I always wanted one). She has 3! Who knows if they will protect her from bullies and creepy blokes as people keep assuring me they'll do. Who knows if they will sneak her out of the house when she's 16 and drive her to a night club and keep an eye on her without us knowing. (I seriously hope not). Who knows if they will kidnap any future suitors and take him through an initiation process (strip him naked, blindfolded, leaving him in tescos at 2 in the morning). I don't know. All I know is she has 5 people looking out for her and that can't be too bad. She's sweet, dainty, and also stubborn. She's shy, likes to babble, and likes her independence. I really love her. I just want you to know that. I don't love her more than the boys because she's a girl. I love each of my children equally and unconditionally.
Being a mum is the most amazing thing I've ever achieved. (And that's saying a lot from a girl who's been married to Fitch for as long as I have).
